Have You Ever Wondered What It’s Like to Watch TV with a Filmmaker?

Have you ever wondered what it's like to watch a movie with a film director? An actor? Or someone from the art department? As great and educational as it might sound, apparently it's not as fun as it appears—or so my family says. 

I am a film and advertising producer, and my husband works in the camera department. Between the two of us, we have spent a combined total of 18 years behind the camera. While we love our jobs, watching a movie with us is not ideal. You see, whenever we watch a show, movie, or even commercial, we tend to dissect it—whether we mean to or not. 

It wasn’t until I was watching a movie with my sisters that I realized how bad my analysis of filmmaking has become.

Before ever starting the film, my sister quickly hit pause, turned to me, and said, "Jordan, for the love of all that is holy, please keep your comments to yourself. I don't need to know when there is a continuity error. Or how they achieved that level of snow. And I certainly don't need you to point out the beads of sweat on an actor's face when it's supposed to be negative two outside. Please, can we just watch the movie in silence?" 

After processing her comments, I told myself to be more aware of my observations and keep my critiques to myself, since I apparently remove all the magic from film and reveal secrets only insiders would know.

The average moviegoer will enjoy a two-hour escape while they watch the programming of their choosing. But for me--and others in my industry--instead of an escape, I begin to think of the multiple months of pre-production prep, the six to eight weeks of principal photography, the countless hours spent in post, and the amount of work and time it took to shop the project to different distributors. 

Unfortunately, those thoughts don't remain in my head but instead spew out to the others around me, except in movie theaters, I keep my mouth shut because I’m not a monster. 

So, if you've ever wondered about watching a movie with a filmmaker, I'm here to give you a glimpse into what I see while watching television.

Let’s start with commercials. A commercial is typically shot quick, fast, and in a hurry. Typically thirty to sixty-seconds long, a commercial is off your screen as quickly as it appears. But what you don't see are the 4:00 am call times, the three to five location moves a day, and the grueling temperatures you might have to work in. 

Some of my favorite commercials to break down are car commercials. Almost like clockwork, whenever I see those, I begin asking the following questions:

• I wonder what their budget was? 

• That’s a lot of locations, with a ton of different backgrounds. I wonder how many days this was? Did they shoot simultaneously? Or was it a multi-day shoot to spread it out?

• Man, if it was a one-day, that is a lot of location moves for the crew. But maybe it was more relaxed and they only had one location a day.

• How many car-to-car setups with Russian arms did they have to use to get those angles?

• I wonder what their insurance premium was?

…and so on. Though it's annoying, my analysis of a commercial doesn't seem to bother my friends and family as much as when I critique movies.  

Usually, when you sit down to watch a movie, you find yourself invested in the story within ten minutes. But if you’re watching with me, you’re ripped from that imaginary world as soon as I open my mouth:

• Wow, how are they shooting that in the middle of Times Square? And during the day? There's no way they blocked off the cross streets for that shot. 

• I wonder if they got releases for everyone on camera? 

• Or did they steal the shots and pray that the people appearing as 'extras' don't come after production? 

• I bet they just ran a skeleton crew and knocked it out. Back to extras, how many times is that one going to look into the camera?"

Needless to say, if you are someone who enjoys watching a movie with the director's commentary, you will probably love watching with a filmmaker. But, if you would rather pour hot water on your face than have movie magic revealed, I highly suggest you never watch a movie with me.

If you find yourself in such a position, and a crew member points out some movie trivia you would generally find on IMDb, try to cut them some slack. Chances are they don't realize they're doing it. And when you're tired of listening to your weird sister ramble about the coffee cup disappearing and reappearing from cut to cut, remember that we are a society that thrives on learning new things—such as Rosetta Stone, Master Class, YouTube hair and makeup tutorials. So, maybe instead of chastising them, think of it as you’re getting to sit in on a free film school class.

The mechanics of how a film is made will forever be engrained in my brain. And while I am actively trying to repress my unwanted commentary and refrain from dissecting each scene, I cannot guarantee that I will be silenced completely since this is the path and life I chose. And as they say, that's showbiz.  

** Warning: Hot husband alert!