Embracing Your Flaws, Chipped Tooth and All

When I was in the 5th grade, I dove into the shallow end of a wave pool. As I reached the bottom, I heard a crunch sound that scared me. But what was waiting for me as I rose to the top (which was literally me just lifting my head out of the water) was much scarier. 

I ran my tongue across the bottom of my teeth and felt something missing. Horrified, I leapt through the machine-generated waves, sobbing and screaming for my mom. The look of panic covering her face disappeared as I scrunched my nose and curled my upper lip (slightly resembling a horse laughing), revealing the damage done to my poor tooth. 

After seeing that I hadn’t been attacked by freshwater piranhas and had all my limbs intact, she let out a sigh of relief and surveyed the wreckage. Trying to calm me down, she told me we would get it fixed, but not to let this ruin the rest of my post-church camp celebration. Little did she know I had moved way beyond letting it ruin my day. I truly believed my life and modeling career were over. I immediately threw a hissy fit and announced for everyone to hear—including my crush—that it was time to leave at once. 

Fast forward a year. After having the chip filled, I began feeling a little bit more confident in my smile. That was until we were on vacation in Rockport, Texas. After leaving the beach, we were starving, like most kids are (something about the sun makes you ravenous), and settled on Taco Bell. While biting into my delicious Chili Cheese Frito Burrito, I crunched down on something much harder than Fritos.

It was my filling. 

Following the shock of losing the filling again, I was overcome with the same emotions from the wave pool. Immediately, I began crying hysterically into my pintos and cheese, while my family wondered what was wrong. Unable to talk, I motioned to my tooth before laying my head on the table for a dramatic effect. Thankfully, my mom understood my attempt at sign language as I sat in silence, keeping my mouth closed, and watched my family enjoy their mystery meat tacos and cinnamon twists. 

After pleading my case and begging my mom to end our vacation early to fix the monstrosity occurring on my face, I was met with a hard no. So, I spent the rest of our beach vacay inside perfecting the perfect closed mouth smile and playing hearts with my great-grandma, Gigi, while we watched “her shows” (aka soap operas).

Jump forward 12 years. My filling had become a part of me and we had bonded (insert laugh for my hilarious dental joke here). 

I had just started with a new ad agency and was getting ready to leave for a two-week shoot in L.A. Since I’m a procrastipacker, it shouldn’t be a surprise that I was picking up a few last-minute wardrobe options for my trip—including a lovely straw fedora that I swore I would wear, yet it still sits in my closet with the tags on. Needing something for dinner, G and I decided to run into Whole Foods and grab a few things. Because shopping makes me hungry, I grabbed a bag of sweet potato chips for my pre-appetizer appetizer. As I bit down on a chip, I felt the filling come loose, and for the 2nd time, I ate it. 

I forgot to mention this happened on a Friday night, and I was flying out Sunday. Here is a fun fact, most dental offices aren’t open on the weekends. 

After learning this, I had a full-on panic attack followed by a sob fest. Once the hysteria was under control, my husband and I began to tag-team call any and every dentist in a 200-mile radius, as well as the extremely price inflated after-hours emergency dentist offices, looking for anyone who could repair my tooth. Thankfully, my sweet husband got a hold of his family’s dentist, who offered to come in on a Saturday morning—before his son’s birthday party—and fix my shattered tooth. A calming wave came over me, as my fears of looking like a hillbilly in L.A diminished. 

One month after having the third chip filled, my cute G surprised me with chips and queso from my favorite Mexican restaurant in San Marcos, Texas. I all but dove in, grabbing handfuls of chips and using them to scoop the queso into my mouth as if I didn’t have a pretty severe corn allergy. And then, I felt it. 

Once again, a chip* knocked my chip out. It was a chip chip. Clever, right? 

*And yes, I know I should quit chips. But I can’t quit them.

Two years and five months later, as we celebrated Garret’s birthday this past Friday at our house, I bit into the best Italian sandwich I’ve had outside of NY. But, as I tried to pull the giant sandwich out of my mouth gracefully, I brought the filling with it. As I stood in the kitchen, with a chunk of my tooth missing, I saw my brother and sister in law standing directly in front of me. Quickly, the self-conscious feelings I felt at the wave pool 25 years ago ran through my body as I unmasked my true smile to a new set of people*. 

After making a quick joke about resembling Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber, I ran into our bathroom to assess the damage, have a quick cry, and jump online to grab the first appointment on Monday morning. 

*For the record, they were amazing and so uplifting about it, whereas I was not and made 100 or so excuses for why I was hiding in our bedroom most of the night. 

The worst part about losing my filling wasn’t that it happened on a Friday night—meaning I couldn’t get it fixed until Monday at the earliest; it was that we had a full weekend of birthday activities planned for my birthday boy. Activities that I would miss because there was no way I was going out in public looking like a snaggletooth shark. 

It wasn’t until I announced that I would no longer be joining everyone for my husband’s birthday festivities that I realized how vain and selfish I sounded. Knowing I needed to fix my approach to my least favorite flaw, I sucked up my pride and decided that I needed to go. 

That morning, as I got dressed—making sure to look as cute as possible and divert the attention from my tooth to my cute Hogs gear—G brought me a cup of coffee in my favorite shark mug that says “Jaw Ready for This”. As he sat it on the counter, he looked at me and said, “It’s the perfect day for you to have coffee out of this cup..cause you know, your teeth….”

And instead of having a meltdown and locking myself in our closet, I laughed, grabbed the cup, and prayed that I wouldn’t knock out another tooth as I took a sip. 

Which brings me here. 

Since I was ten years old, I have been self-conscious and embarrassed about the chip in my front tooth. It was a flaw I let consume me, rather than seeing it as something that makes me unique. Our flaws and imperfections are what make us beautiful, whether you see it or not. 

So whatever imperfection, blemish, or cracked tooth you’re secretly dealing with, remember, they are what makes you human. And if you choose to hide from your flaws, you might miss out on the best night of your life or three happy birthday desserts for the price of one. 

Embrace your imperfections and let the world see that beautiful, fun, quirky, off-kilter, weirdo that you are! I am. And for the first time in my life, I can say that I am no longer stressed about losing my filling at any given moment, on any type of food. 

The only perfect thing we have in this world comes from above. If He can love us through our imperfections, we should be able to do the same. 

“Not that I have already reached the goal or am already perfect, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:12

**DISCLAIMER: I am aware the chip doesn’t appear quite as large as I make it sound. And while people have told me it isn’t that noticeable, I have to disagree because when the chip is on your tooth, it seems gigantic.